In my KMLA life, morning exercise takes great importance because it has great influence on rhythms of life. I learn Kendo every morning and I should continue exercising until I get official certificate. However, I don't think that Kendo should be mandatory.
Firstly, I believe I should think about the purpose of morning exercise. In KMLA, morning exercise is mandatory because it can help students' studying by giving fresh mind in the morning. However, I don't agree with this advantage of morning exercise. I do agree that in some parts, morning exercise can help students to keep awake. However, sometimes, students need more sleep. I think the importance of sleep and awakeness is always changing. Thus, morning exercise 'might' be helpful for students but it also might be harmful for students. Therefore, students should choose whether they do the morning exercise or not.
Furthermore, I don't understand that Kendo is mandatory. If the main purpose of morning exercise is to wake up the students for their study, then there are many other easier exercises. However, KMLA selects Kendo for morning exercise. Although we don't have to choose Kendo at junior, it's still mandatory to choose between Kendo and Taekwondo. Also, the capacity of Taekwondo is very low. Thus, it makes majority of students to choose Kendo. Kendo is too harsh exercise for morning exercise. Morning exercise should help students but Kendo is excessive exercise that students become tired after this exercise. For example, we should be in barefoot during exercise time even though it is winter outside. Or we should swing our arms over 300 times at once. Thus, in KMLA, every morning, students do excessive exercise and gain tiredness that will disturb students in class. In conclusion, I think the morning exercise system in KMLA needs revolution. Present system has no benefit for students. KMLA should rethink what will help students.
This is an argumentative essay, and not a reflective, and there isn't much of "you" in it. An anecdote was the key ingredient. As well, try not to become too reliant on transitions such as:
답글삭제However, Thus, Therefore, Furthermore - as they appear over a short span in your essay. It sounds too mathematical and formulaic, and definitely is better suited to a debate or argument based essay. I can tell these last assignments were rush jobs typed up on the same day, so try and work according to the schedule in future writing classes.